Estimated reading time: 1 minute
My dear, I realize as I lay here on the floor
that the sun rises, the sun sets, we cannot beg for more
Countless days I searched here and there
that I found you is luck beyond compare
My dear, I could not survive the day without you
being without you terrifies me through and through
I need you
sooner or later, I always need you
Once, maybe twice a day
depends on what I’ve eaten, every which way
My roll of soft, strong, Cottonelle
I am lucky to have found you—lucky as hell
Fucking hoarders.